Desi Days

more cutie pie pics

Mommy's little peanut

Life has changed so much with Desmond here now.  Tim has had the past week+ home with us and the two of us spend most of our time just looking at him; adoring our beautiful baby boy.  I have about 50 more pics of Des just hanging out being cute, sleeping, looking innocent.  He is a dream.  

It's funny how, for so long I thought I wasn't ready for a little one, yet how natural and right it actually feels.  He is all that we expected and more:  sweet, good natured, quiet, a big sleeper.  But he also is really funny.  He spends a lot of time messing around when I feed him.  Sometimes he's all business, but other times he just wants to play around.  He has a battle cry he makes before he latches on that is pretty hilarious.  He's definitely his dad's boy.  We got a card from Grandma and Grandpa Reeder today and they sent a picture of Tim as a newborn.  The resemblance is uncanny.  As you can see from the picture above, he also holds his ear like T used to do when he was a little guy.  Adorable.

Of course I'm exhausted, sore, hormonal, ravenous, etc. etc.  All of which is expected given the major adjustment to life with baby and life after giving birth.  But I'm overjoyed most of the time.  And totally in love with this little guy.  He is now the boss of the house and I don't mind it.  I'm just trying to make the best decisions for him on a daily basis about what he needs, how to satisfy his needs, and setting the bar for him as the most important person in our lives.  

I wish you guys could see him.  I want to show him off so bad.  Recently got one of these for Des and it makes him so snuggly and gives me two hands to do what I need.  I'm actually using it right now and he is fast asleep yet close by so I never feel like I'm not giving him the proper attention and care that he needs.  

Okay, that's enough gushing for now.  Love to you all.

The Most Beautifulest Thing in This World...

...went just like this:

I started having what I thought were false labor pains overnight Thursday.  They were strong enough that they woke me up, but knowing how women can have prodromal (early labor) or Braxton-Hicks contractions for days if not weeks before they give birth, I was afraid to get too anxious or excited.  Plus, I was more than a week away from my due date and everyone knows first babies come late, not early.  I tried to sleep as much as possible that night and woke up earlier than my alarm for work, so after looking up the difference between "real" and "false" labor symptoms on a few websites, I decided that mine lay somewhere in between and probably the best thing to do would be to go to work.  I did drive in Friday, though, despite it being a beautiful day and my inclination to get on the bus.  Figured I should have the car with me just in case.  

Had a long meeting off-site with a friend from grad school with whom I'm coordinating a show for the gallery (actually it will be while I'm out on maternity leave, but the work still needs to be coordinated) and when my contractions didn't seem to be letting up, I went back to the office for a few hours.  I stayed at work trying to tie up any loose ends (in case this was the real deal) and started counting my contractions about 1 PM.  They were short but relatively close together so I figured I'd leave work just in case. 

Went home, talked to Pam, one of our doulas and she recommended I eat some food and take a bath.  I was still timing contractions via an online website but was trying not to obsess about it at this point, knowing that people have these things for days before they actually go into full labor.  At about 4:30 my sister came over and hung out for awhile.  Tim was kind of relaxed about the whole thing, taking a cue from me probably and trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing.  By the time he got home from work I had called the doula again and decided it might be time to think about calling the doctor.  Everyone seemed to think since this was my first kid, it would be awhile before we needed to do anything crazy like going to the hospital.  I told Tim to pack the hospital bag just in case and meanwhile he took a shower.

At some point my back really started to ache and I asked Tim to please rub it.  When I switched positions I felt a pop and knew my water broke.  It wasn't a large gush like I had been told so I asked Tim to call the Doctor and he let him know.  Contractions started stronger and I lost more water at every one, so I knew that meant Des' head was probably stopping the flow and with his head resting directly on my cervix, dilation would probably begin in earnest.  I wanted to get to the hospital and Tim called both the doulas and Dr. to let them know we were headed there.  Traffic was crappy but I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing the whole way.  When we got to the hospital I felt strangely serene about the whole thing.  I think Tim was more nervous and adrenaline pumped than I was at that point.

Amanda (doula 2) and Pam met us there and the nurses had to "verify" I was indeed in labor.  At that point my legs were shaking from the hormones and the contractions were about 3 minutes apart.  We spent an hour in "triage" being inspected and trying to get 15 minutes of the heart monitor on Des, which when you're going through contractions is not a fun thing.  I was already 3 cm dilated.  All I wanted to do was get in water but they had to check me in before I could get to my official room.  Once that was done (over an hour) we got to my room, put on my music,  and got me in the tub.  Contractions began in full and I knew I was getting the job done.  I kept reminding myself that this was the best thing for my baby and that it was only a matter of time before I would hold him in my arms.  I thought I was in there for awhile but Tim said it was only about 45 minutes before they suggest they check me again.  I got out (regretfully) and was checked again.  5 cm.  Things started moving really quickly from there.  

Laboring on all fours and on my knees I think really helped.  All the back pain I was experiencing made Pam think the baby might be flipped up instead of down, so we spent a lot of time laboring with my head down and bottom up to make sure he would flip.  Tim said he never worried about that since my back is where I always hold pain, so it seemed natural to him that this was where I would feel it most.  

The best thing about having the doulas there the whole time was that they really advocated for me when Tim and I didn't know when to.  They could leave the room and get the nurses to ask that I be checked, since I  was progressing so quickly.  After I was out of the tub, I started wanting to push.  This isn't good if you aren't fully dilated so I really had to concentrate on not pushing.  Blowing short breaths helped but no amount of breathing or concentration could keep me from resisting the urge every now and then.  It only got worse.  Finally, Pam or Amanda got the nurses to check me again and they said, "yep, the head's right there" meaning I was dilated and was just waiting for the doctor.  At that point, I couldn't really wait anymore.  Pam whispered in my ear "just do what your body tells you is right" and I did.  I think I pushed only a few times leaning over the bed while on  knees when all of a sudden I felt something.  I was like "I think that was the head".  Tim pulled down the sheet and I heard him say "it's the head!"  In a frenzy Pam and Amanda called the nurses and in seconds about 5 nurses in blue scrubs came running in.  It was kind of hilarious.  I heard a doctor (not mine) say "okay, now we have the head out so you need to really push" I thought "yeah, now ya tell me."  Within seconds out came the body of my beloved Desmond and after I turned around and lay down, they handed him to me.  I just sat there with this messy little ball of wiggle worm in my arms, disbelievingly.  He came so quick!  I wasn't scared.  We did it all by ourselves.  We didn't even really need the doctor.  The nurse said from when I reported my contractions started in full effect, (c. 6 ish) we only had a 5 hour labor.  We got the hospital only 3 or so hours before I gave birth.  It was amazing and wonderful.

Needless to say, since it went so quick, I was pretty torn up afterward.  Warning!  Do not read on if you are at all squeamish:  I had a partial 3rd degree tear, but I can say honestly that I did not know it when it was happening.  It's only afterward that it's been such a pain.  All in all, though, totally worth it.  I wouldn't change a thing.  

I've included a few (choice) pics and left out some of the scarier ones.  Look at how beautiful my lovely son is!  

The Homestretch

Things are happily starting to come together.  We received Des' car seat in the mail the other day.  Never thought I would be so excited to see something so inconsequential in my life.  I can just picture his little body all snuggled up in it; it makes me happy just thinking about it.  :)

Tim ordered the crib and dresser/changing table last week and it should take another week or so before they arrive.  While I am very happy with our selections, it was still way more expensive than I would have liked, but a compromise between design & affordability as far as all of our choices.  I think we made the right decisions.  

T's been working really hard for the past month+ on the floor in the nursery and it's finally near completion.  Last steps are the polyurethane coatings (3) which should be completed by this weekend.  Here's a not-so-sweet pic of me (we were headed out the door but T decided we needed to record his progress on the nursery, so he had me step into the picture,) but a  good look at the almost finished floor as well as the paint colors.  If you remember what the floors looked like before, it is a huge difference and very similar to the floors in our bedroom.  I think we have both learned patience on this project and I'm so excited for everything to be finalized.

We've had some insane weather here in the past two days.  3-5" of snow yesterday, freezing rain/sleet overnight, and another 3-5" of snow today.  By day's end we'll have about 8-10", so needless to say we're staying home from work today.  I went in yesterday, and since I didn't want Tim to have to drive me, I started my normal walk to the bus stop (the farther/flat route, not the short/uphill or stairs route) and Tim insisted on walking with me and standing at the stop with me until the bus arrived.  Needless to say it was slow going, so the normal 10-15 minutes wait took about 35 minutes and once I got on, we were packed like sardines.  Thankfully, there is always one or two kind souls who offer up their seats to the fat pregnant girl, so I got a seat but was squished between two of the largest women in the world.  I only stayed at work for about an hour and a half and just emailed myself some files to work on from home.  No huge looming deadlines, so it was a pretty easy afternoon once I got home again.  By that time, Tim insisted on picking me up (apparently he "loves" driving in the snow--I think it reminds him of his pizza delivery driving days in high school) so I stopped being stubborn and took him up on his offer.

When we woke up this morning there was 2" icicles hanging from all the power lines and the snow has restarted again in earnest.  With all the ice that fell last night, I will not be attempting to go into work today, and I doubt any of my co-workers will either.  Tim's working from home again, aka: doing the first coat of varnish on the floor, so that is handy.  My magnolia tree out back looks like it is split down the middle from the top with so much heavy ice holding it down.  It is a sad sight and will need some tending to, once everything melts.  I love that tree so much and I hope it survives this.  

Started going to the OB once a week now, and had our last visit on Monday.  Dr. B is such a good dude and I feel so reassured that he is the right person to help deliver Des.  He spent a good 30-40 minutes answering our questions about various tests and choices we have to make in the next few weeks prior to delivery.  Our last midwife made it seem like any questions were to be answered as quickly as possible with her pat answers.  Bowen really gives us all pieces of information, encouraging us to make up our own minds.  His bed side manner is also very reassuring as he is quite soft spoken and honest about everything he says.  He referred me to a chiropractor and I have my first appointment this afternoon, but it will most likely have to be rescheduled with this weather.  I hope getting my body into alignment will help me sleep better as well as get Desi into the best position for labor (head down, Occiput/Left Occiput Anterior position) which, from my sister's experience, I know can really effect ease of labor.  

Tonight is also our last childbirth class with Pam & Amanda (the "dueling doulas" as we like to call them) so I feel ready/prepared for everything that lies in front of us.  We'll probably have to reschedule with this weather, but classes have been enlightening and very comfortable so far.  The two of them really make the perfect pair as they are so different but so complimentary in their attributes and personalities.  As of this coming Saturday I will be considered "full term" so Des could come whenever and be considered perfectly fine.  I can't wait!  Not much longer...

Great Expectations

Yesterday was 42 days away from Desi's due date.  I know that expecting him on that day is unrealistic, but it's good to have a goal to look forward to.  In reality, I've set my sights for a few weeks later, knowing that that will probably be more practical, but it's hard not to be excited!  I've actually had the Pointer Sisters' song "I'm So Excited" running through my head for the past week or so.  (I know, I know... I'm a dork)

Had our second/last shower yesterday and it was really nice.  My sister hosted at her house and it was great to see a bunch of people I hadn't seen in awhile.  Still have so much to buy, but have received a lot of the little things required for a baby in the house (blankets, bibs, onsies, etc.)  Henry was so sweet to sleep the entire time and once everyone left, we got to hang out with him for a little bit.  Tim and I babysat (first!) for him Friday night and he was a doll.  After pulling a bunch of baby tricks on us (sneaky poops, never ending hunger, peeing as soon as his diaper was off) he settled down in Tim's arms and slept for almost two hours, holding onto Tim's thumb like it was his lifeline.  It was adorable.  And good practice for us both.  

Tim's still finishing the floor in Des' room and until that large task is complete, the nursery will remain on hold.  There is so much to get in order and the date is ever-approaching.  I'm beside myself with anticipation, but trying so hard to be patient.  There is still so much to do before he arrives.  I guess it will keep me busy, at the very least.

This week we begin private birth classes with our doula, which will continue once a week, for the next 3 weeks. No matter how much I think I already know about the process, the more I realize there's so much left to learn.  Unfortunately, going into birth with the expectation that everything will work out if you just have faith in the medical system, doesn't seem to be realistic.  As much as I have faith in my ability to birth and my advocates' (Tim, doula, Dr. Bowen) ability to help me birth, I want to be ready to be flexible for any possible scenario, so that I can make Desi's entry into this world the best it can be.  No stress, just knowledge.  Knowledge is power.  And love.  That's a big part of it too.  

mele kaliki maka

Baby Henry is so precious!  His little face just makes my heart melt.  Look at that expression.

Christmas was nice.  Lots of cooking and family time, which is great.  Even got to squeeze in a few special evenings worth of socializing.  

Work party with lots of good vibes (I love the organization I work for)

TBS moped x-mas gathering- got to see lots of out of town friends & received so many baby clothes for Des!

random visits to the house by good friends from out of town

Day after x-mas dinner at the Comet, (where everyone and their cousin came out of the woodwork) so I got to see even local people I haven't seen in MONTHS.  lots of belly rubbing  :)

Lots of DAYS off of work (even if I had to take some work home with me)

didn't have any crazy late night hang out sessions and missed quite a few out-of-towners while they were here, but I think all of the essential people made a chance to hang out as much as possible.  

Two baby showers pending, early next month.  it should be good just to gather more of our friends together, after the busy holiday season and before our busy baby months to come.  It's good to witness the changes in C & S's lives after Baby Henry's arrival, so we have a much more realistic idea of what's to come in the next few months.  and to be thankful for the next few "quiet" months we have to ourselves before Desi's arrival.

I'm impatient, anxious, but really excited for these last few months of pregnancy--despite all the discomfort and humiliation of ugly/uncomfortable maternity clothes.  I have to try so much harder to feel "cute" or even acceptably attractive and in the later stages--especially the past week, sans work.  I haven't been showering or fixing my hair/makeup every day.  Total change for me, who typically enjoys--dare I say--looks forward to getting dolled-up every day.   It just takes so much effort these days to feel motivated...  

I promise myself I'll put extra effort into getting my body back & feeling attractive again after Desi's born.  Of course, it will be secondary to his health, breastfeeding schedule, and other worldly needs, but I don't think those things & my body returning back to normal are mutually exclusive.  Saw our friend Bobbi this past weekend at the Comet and she is a great example of getting her body back so quickly after the birth of her son, Aiden.  I'm inspired that it won't be as hard as it may feel right now.  If anything, it will be a chance for me to continue doing all the healthy things that pregnancy has forced upon me thus far.  But also I'll be able to start running again  :)

Well, here's to hoping your holidays were great too.  Love and miss you all lots.