The Most Beautifulest Thing in This World...

...went just like this:

I started having what I thought were false labor pains overnight Thursday.  They were strong enough that they woke me up, but knowing how women can have prodromal (early labor) or Braxton-Hicks contractions for days if not weeks before they give birth, I was afraid to get too anxious or excited.  Plus, I was more than a week away from my due date and everyone knows first babies come late, not early.  I tried to sleep as much as possible that night and woke up earlier than my alarm for work, so after looking up the difference between "real" and "false" labor symptoms on a few websites, I decided that mine lay somewhere in between and probably the best thing to do would be to go to work.  I did drive in Friday, though, despite it being a beautiful day and my inclination to get on the bus.  Figured I should have the car with me just in case.  

Had a long meeting off-site with a friend from grad school with whom I'm coordinating a show for the gallery (actually it will be while I'm out on maternity leave, but the work still needs to be coordinated) and when my contractions didn't seem to be letting up, I went back to the office for a few hours.  I stayed at work trying to tie up any loose ends (in case this was the real deal) and started counting my contractions about 1 PM.  They were short but relatively close together so I figured I'd leave work just in case. 

Went home, talked to Pam, one of our doulas and she recommended I eat some food and take a bath.  I was still timing contractions via an online website but was trying not to obsess about it at this point, knowing that people have these things for days before they actually go into full labor.  At about 4:30 my sister came over and hung out for awhile.  Tim was kind of relaxed about the whole thing, taking a cue from me probably and trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing.  By the time he got home from work I had called the doula again and decided it might be time to think about calling the doctor.  Everyone seemed to think since this was my first kid, it would be awhile before we needed to do anything crazy like going to the hospital.  I told Tim to pack the hospital bag just in case and meanwhile he took a shower.

At some point my back really started to ache and I asked Tim to please rub it.  When I switched positions I felt a pop and knew my water broke.  It wasn't a large gush like I had been told so I asked Tim to call the Doctor and he let him know.  Contractions started stronger and I lost more water at every one, so I knew that meant Des' head was probably stopping the flow and with his head resting directly on my cervix, dilation would probably begin in earnest.  I wanted to get to the hospital and Tim called both the doulas and Dr. to let them know we were headed there.  Traffic was crappy but I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing the whole way.  When we got to the hospital I felt strangely serene about the whole thing.  I think Tim was more nervous and adrenaline pumped than I was at that point.

Amanda (doula 2) and Pam met us there and the nurses had to "verify" I was indeed in labor.  At that point my legs were shaking from the hormones and the contractions were about 3 minutes apart.  We spent an hour in "triage" being inspected and trying to get 15 minutes of the heart monitor on Des, which when you're going through contractions is not a fun thing.  I was already 3 cm dilated.  All I wanted to do was get in water but they had to check me in before I could get to my official room.  Once that was done (over an hour) we got to my room, put on my music,  and got me in the tub.  Contractions began in full and I knew I was getting the job done.  I kept reminding myself that this was the best thing for my baby and that it was only a matter of time before I would hold him in my arms.  I thought I was in there for awhile but Tim said it was only about 45 minutes before they suggest they check me again.  I got out (regretfully) and was checked again.  5 cm.  Things started moving really quickly from there.  

Laboring on all fours and on my knees I think really helped.  All the back pain I was experiencing made Pam think the baby might be flipped up instead of down, so we spent a lot of time laboring with my head down and bottom up to make sure he would flip.  Tim said he never worried about that since my back is where I always hold pain, so it seemed natural to him that this was where I would feel it most.  

The best thing about having the doulas there the whole time was that they really advocated for me when Tim and I didn't know when to.  They could leave the room and get the nurses to ask that I be checked, since I  was progressing so quickly.  After I was out of the tub, I started wanting to push.  This isn't good if you aren't fully dilated so I really had to concentrate on not pushing.  Blowing short breaths helped but no amount of breathing or concentration could keep me from resisting the urge every now and then.  It only got worse.  Finally, Pam or Amanda got the nurses to check me again and they said, "yep, the head's right there" meaning I was dilated and was just waiting for the doctor.  At that point, I couldn't really wait anymore.  Pam whispered in my ear "just do what your body tells you is right" and I did.  I think I pushed only a few times leaning over the bed while on  knees when all of a sudden I felt something.  I was like "I think that was the head".  Tim pulled down the sheet and I heard him say "it's the head!"  In a frenzy Pam and Amanda called the nurses and in seconds about 5 nurses in blue scrubs came running in.  It was kind of hilarious.  I heard a doctor (not mine) say "okay, now we have the head out so you need to really push" I thought "yeah, now ya tell me."  Within seconds out came the body of my beloved Desmond and after I turned around and lay down, they handed him to me.  I just sat there with this messy little ball of wiggle worm in my arms, disbelievingly.  He came so quick!  I wasn't scared.  We did it all by ourselves.  We didn't even really need the doctor.  The nurse said from when I reported my contractions started in full effect, (c. 6 ish) we only had a 5 hour labor.  We got the hospital only 3 or so hours before I gave birth.  It was amazing and wonderful.

Needless to say, since it went so quick, I was pretty torn up afterward.  Warning!  Do not read on if you are at all squeamish:  I had a partial 3rd degree tear, but I can say honestly that I did not know it when it was happening.  It's only afterward that it's been such a pain.  All in all, though, totally worth it.  I wouldn't change a thing.  

I've included a few (choice) pics and left out some of the scarier ones.  Look at how beautiful my lovely son is!