Holiday Hellos

wow, that's a fake smile if I ever saw one...

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was nice.  I woke up early to make green bean casserole (from scratch--no canned beans/soup mix for us, thank you) and made lots of other stuff at mom and dad's, per usual.  Grandma's homemade stuffing recipe, Quorn loaf, sweet potato casserole, veggie gravy, etc. etc.  It was a good day, despite a brief fight I got into with my sister.  Two pregnant women with such conflicting beliefs (not to mention emotional hormones) are bound to get into it, I guess.  I think there's no hard feelings...

We switched doctors officially and I feel really good about our choice.  The deal breaker with our midwife was that they induce labor at 41 weeks (and that we only had a 1 in 5 chance of getting her for delivery vs. one of the other doctors in the practice.)  Since the average pregnancy takes 41 weeks and 1 day, it was a gamble I wasn't willing to take--with either of our bodies.   Inductions create issues, issues create interventions, interventions typically lead to cesarean.  None of that for us, thanks.  Me and Des got this.  

Put up our tree yesterday and Tim finished painting the green color (two coats) in the nursery over the past few days.  One more color to go (a kind of bisque/off white color) and he's also talking about refinishing the floor.  All these things cost money--more than you'd think--and I hate being stressed about money.  There are so many things one needs for a baby, and I think we're being really frugal and conservative with our purchases.  I'm taking as many hand-me-downs as possible on the things we think would be great to have but don't necessarily want to spend $$ on:  activity mats, bouncers, swings, burp cloths, first year toys, etc. etc. and my friends who have already had kids are great about giving us stuff.  Actually, we have so much donated "stuff" right now, it's hard to know where to put everything.  Last weekend we sold a coffee table, tv, and ac unit that were just sitting downstairs in the basement.  Today T's taking more boxes of old clothes to goodwill.  Yet somehow there are still bucketloads of things to get rid of.  And yet more things that we need to buy.  For example, I like this crib a lot and it's not too expensive.  So far so good...  But then add in necessary accouterments like this dresser/changing table or this rocker/glider for feedings not to mention legal required purchases of car seats (with at least one base for each car) and accompanying stroller... it's enough to make someone have a panic attack.  To top it all off, not only are the holidays coming up (and their requisite x-mas purchases per family member) I also have 3--soon to be 4--birthdays of immediate family members in December.  No wonder suicide rates go up during the holidays... I think my heart rate is going up just thinking about it.  

In reality, I am quite peaceful and content.  But being pregnant leaves little opportunities for stress-relieving tactics.  I've basically been relying on prenatal yoga videos, and visualization/hypnosis techniques.  No glass of wine, no going out and dancing till dawn for me, thanks.  I barely do anything but go to work and come home anymore.  Even my long nights of sleep and good clean living doesn't always make me feel so sweet.  These days I wake up every two hours with back pain and turning over on my sides are the only acceptable positions for sleeping.  Sitting for more than 20 minutes can be painful.  Standing for too long, ditto.  

Today's my first day of the third trimester and I'm really hoping the next 3 months don't take too long.  I'm tired of wishing away these months--just like I did almost the entire summer--and while I'm totally ready for my life to be changing with baby Des coming into it, I could really use some of my old life back.  Like a social life.  Like my waist.  Like a nice glass of wine.  Nine+ months of "good clean living" gets really old when you feel completely alone.  Of course, T's great and wonderful as usual, but being left alone every weekend (even if I'd just be sleeping) makes me feel like a burden sometimes.  It's weird:  I used to be the one always up for a party.  I used to be the one with 5 things to do every night.  How quickly things change!

The biggest, and most rewarding thing about being pregnant, isn't just the infinite possibilities of bringing this little life into the world.  It is the closeness of being joined with another person in such an intimate way.  Feeling his every move.  Sharing every thought.  Since that is such a huge responsibility, it is hard to get down and let yourself wallow in self-pity.  I feel like our psychic connection should forbid me from thinking any sad thoughts, but all these emotions make it hard not to.  I just take small consolation that he will make this world a better place with his mere existence.  That he will continue to strengthen the relationship that T & I have as well as make us both better people.    I never thought it was possible to love someone you've never met before so much.  But I do.  And I can't wait for him to be a part of our lives.  

 

Update-arino

I need to take some more belly pics because this baby is getting BIG.

Finally finished a huge project at work last night that had me working 11-12 hour days and working everyday for the past few weeks.  I was getting exhausted!  I'm lucky this was all happening during my second trimester, though, because generally I feel pretty on top of the world right now.  Especially with fall really kicking in here.  I get real nostalgic and warm & cozy feeling about my family.  I'm so looking forward to the holidays and having time off, spending some down time with family, and seeing Baby H born!

The turning of the leaves here is beautiful and our yard is awash in lovely warm colors.  T is off today and tomorrow for a moped rally TBS hosts every year in New Carrolton, KY with the Louisville gang.  Should be pretty weather--sunny but chilly.  I remember last year it was so sunny, even with wind exposure on the 4 hour ride down I ended up taking off one of my 3 under layers.  It's a beautiful ride along the river and I'll miss it for sure, but I've got plenty of things to do at home.  

Cristina has her second baby shower today.  I threw her a smaller, more intimate one last week at Bonbonerie Tea Room (YUM) for old friends.  It was nice but I had to rush off to work right after.  This one should be a lot more enjoyable knowing that 1) I'm not in charge and 2) I can relax and enjoy the scene.  

Tomorrow morning we have a load out for the 1200+ art pieces on boards that became my inherited work project (ahem notwhatIwashiredtodo ahem) of the past month and a half.  I'll be glad to be done with it, although there are more loose ends to tie up before next week and the main fundraising event this exhibition will benefit.  I also plan on using this as negotiating leverage for a raise upon my 3-month job review.  I think I've earned it.

T and I  met with a doula last week and got a lot of empowering information about natural birth choices.  It was something I was really undecided about from the beginning, but the more I learn about natural birth, the more I really want to have one.  We are considering switching doctors and birth hospital as well.  My dream would be to have a home birth (it's the only way to have a water birth in Cincy) with a midwife, but without insurance coverage (backwards insurance companies!) we just can't afford it.  

The compromise might be to have a doctor who has experience and a reputation for allowing a woman to birth naturally, sans intervention--which is such a common practice these days.  I have so many friends who planned on natural birth yet ended up having a cesarean despite their best plans and wishes.  I want to have someone who will empower me to allow my body to do what it needs to do to get this little guy out in the most positive and stress-free (notice I didn't say pain-free) way possible.  I have faith my body can handle the process.  I just want to find a doctor who will do the same.  I'll keep you all up to date on what the next few weeks bring.

And I promise I'll post some more pictures soon.

Love you all and miss you so much.  

xoxo

Baby Love

That's my little guy:
In case it isn't clear, top picture is a close up of Baby D's little fist clenched under his chin (what a poser--just like his Daddy), middle pic is a profile of his head and chest, bottom pic is him laying down looking back at the camera like "what?"
I keep these photos near my desk at work and they've helped lately with the stress I've been feeling. Mostly just stupid business-related stuff that shall pass eventually (come on, November 15th!) but looking at his little face and feeling him kick/move around helps me keep my priorities in perspective. All that really matters is this little guy. The rest of it is cake...

little guy

IT'S A BOY!!!

belly update

Happily getting bigger every day. Starting to get to a weird physical place though, where my body feels close to popping. I'm so used to being rough & tumble with my body, the words of advice from my midwife was to "be delicate" with myself. All the tossing & turning I do at night doesn't help, but T got me a body pillow today so I think that'll help relieve some of the pressure on my hips and back. I've also committed to doing my prenatal yoga video more often, as it really seems to help my comfort level.

Started my first day of my new job at ArtWorks today (YAYYY!) and it felt great to be downtown again, riding the bus instead of driving, and having an office of my own to report to (even if I share it with one other woman :)). Plus, as I'm reading through grant possibilities, trying to match them with our prospective projects I am reminded how happy it makes me to be supporting an organizing whose mission I truly believe in. All is good. Despite a few early hiccups when they found out I was pregnant...

Not much else to report, lately. In eight more days we'll hopefully know Baby Ree's gender, so I'll have lots to say then, I'm sure! So excited for it!!!

Sending you all lots of love and good thoughts.

funny parents

This video is hilarious to me.

ho-hum

So, things are going well.  Todo está bien.

I've been feeling the "quickening" lately (as they call it,) which is really just the early butterflies in the tum that signals the baby is moving around.  I felt it first last week sometime (according to my online resources, this was about a week earlier than typical) when I was lying in bed in the middle of the night and was half asleep.  All of a sudden I thought, "whoa! what was that?" and it felt like a pop or something under my skin.  Weirdest thing was I could feel it on both sides of the skin and it was kind of amazing.  Woke me right up, and I kept trying to sense it again but Baby was having none of it.  The rest of the week I kept trying to put my hand on where I thought I could feel the Baby and see if I could feel any push back, but nothing.  Today at work I was lying on the couch with the kids watching TV and I felt what seemed like popcorn or bubbles randomly tapping on my belly from the inside.  This was definitely not gas.  Something way more magical.  I can tell Baby Ree was playing hard to get but reassuring me that she or he was indeed there; sending me love, keeping all my hopes up.  It's such a crazy feeling to sense that something is growing inside you.  With you all the time.  It makes me feel really connected and... I don't know... holy.  Like some kind of magic is taking place inside of me everyday.  Amazing.

J is staying with us this week, as Mom & Dad are off to PR for their first vacation alone (ever) in almost 28 years.  He's really trying to not be a burden as I can see him struggling with his own issues, trying to be "good."  Nonetheless he worries about things constantly.  When are mom & dad going to call?  What are they doing right now?  Will I get him on the van alright for work, and will I be there when he gets home?  His issues are simple but they are never ending.  We had to remind him of where he put his basketball three times last night, despite the fact that he was not going to need it until the weekend, probably.  He is a handful but I am reminded of how lucky I was to have had a hand in raising him, and how well-prepared I am because of it for a "normal" child.  He's pretty preoccupied with C & I having babies now, and he asks a lot of questions.  It's kinda funny.  He insists he will NOT help to babysit, though.  He will be "in his room" when the babies come over, he says.  We'll see what he thinks when he finally gets around them.  

Well,  T & I went to Kings Island on Sunday with a few friends so here's a picture of me and Dora the Explorer since I apparently look a lot like her now that I have the same haircut.  I've also included one of us last weekend at the pool with Mom, C, Stu, & T.  Big bellies galore...