16 days away

On August 23rd I will be officially 14 weeks pregnant.

This may not seem like a big milestone to most, but being officially out of the first trimester will give both me & T some breathing room.  People seem to think pregnancy isn't a big deal until you're all big and showing, but I can say from experience that the first trimester seems pretty darn hellish to me.  It may be the near exhaustion from small errands like doing the groceries, or standing on my feet bartending for 7 hours at a time.  Or it could be the constant nausea unless I eat every two hours.  Or it could be the not fitting into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes, but looking pseudo-ridiculous in pregnancy gear that I haven't quite grown into yet... maybe all of the above.  

Miraculously though, those things supposedly go away during the second trimester.  At least, that's what I'm told.  I see it in my sister, too, who is about 21 weeks along and just found out on Tuesday that she's having a boy.  We went shopping together after her doctors appointment and every store we went into she happily purchased something cute and blue.  She looked radiant in her cute maternity clothes and her big belly.  Me... right now I just look like I drink too much beer.  And feel like crap.  And worry about money.  (Well, that part might never go away.)

On the upside, I went out last night with a bunch of girls from grad school and told them about baby Ree and it was so much fun!  We sang karaoke at the Comet, and I barely noticed I wasn't drinking alcohol.  It helped that I ate a giant quesadilla (kept my big mouth busy when I wasn't singing or yelling over the music) and it was kinda fun watching them all get drunk.  I'd been feeling weird about telling people before I was out of the first trimester, but it was a really good feeling to be surrounded by so much love and support.  Telling women close to my own age, is a totally different experience than telling some of our other friends--so many of which are much younger, not to mention male.  Talking about it tends to feel like I just told them I had sprouted another head.  haha.  I guess they're just not used to that sort of information being a positive thing.  ah, well...  

I'm excited to be a mom!  I'm really happy for Baby Ree to be in our lives!  We're at a really good point in our lives and T's going to be such a great dad.  It's pretty much the most rewarding thing I think I might ever have the privilege of doing.  Now if I can just make it to August 23rd, I think I'll feel a whole lot better.  Small milestones (probably for the next 18+ years) will help me get through the tough parts, I think.  In the meantime... I'm making T take a picture of my belly every week, so we keep track of our progress.  Here is the one from last Saturday:  I guess it doesn't look that big yet, but it certainly feels big. 

(god, I need a haircut!)